These are characteristics of a particular issue..
People with this issue may;
- think and feel responsible for other people – for other people’s well-being, needs, feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, lack of well-being, and ultimate destiny.
- feel anxiety, pity and guilt when other people have a problem.
- feel compelled – almost forced – to help that person solve the problem, such as offering unsolicited advice, giving a rapid-fire series of suggestions, or fixing feelings.
- feel angry when their help isn’t effective.
- anticipate other people’s needs.
- wonder why others don’t do the same for them.
- find themselves saying yes when they mean no, doing things they don’t really want to be doing, doing more than their fair share of the work, and doing things other people are capable of doing themselves.
- not knowing what they want or need or, if they do, telling themselves that what they what and need is not important.
- try to please others instead of themselves.
- feel safest when giving.
- feel insecure and guilty when somebody gives to them.
- feel sad because they spend their whole lives giving to other people and nobody gives to them.
- find themselves attracted to needy people.
- find needy people attracted to them.
- feel bored, empty, and worthless if they don’t have a crisis or drama in their lives, a problem to solve, or someone to help.
- abandon their routine to respond to or do something for someone else.
- over-commit themselves.
- feel harried or pressured.
- believe deep inside that other people somehow responsible for them.
- blame others for the situation they find themselves in.
- feel that other people make them feel the way they do.
- believe that other people are making them crazy.
- feel angry, victimised, unappreciated and used.
- find other people becoming impatient or angry with them for all the preceding characteristics.
People with this issue tend to;
- come from troubled, repressed or dysfunctional families.
- deny their family was troubled, repressed or dysfunctional. Think their family was fairly normal.
- blame themselves for everything.